Monday, June 13, 2016

Top Ten ways to survive being bullied as a teenager!!!

Hello everyone, I hope your all doing well, but truth is if you came to read this post then you are needing to know more about bullying.

This has become a huge problem among teenagers and this needs to stop. I have watched my oldest child be bullied to where he ended up cutting himself. This started around 6 grade, and at first he didn't want to tell me about it but he finally did. He went to the principle at his school, as well as I did and they promised to put a stop to it. It did not stop and after many trips to the school and many attempts for this to stop they did nothing. By his 8th grade year he was cutting and drinking alcohol behind our backs, and  was so physically ill in the morning that he couldn't go to school. I went to the school and let them know I was going to homeschool him since they obviously could not control this situation, and it had been going on for over 2 years. I did pull him out and homeschooled him until we moved to a new town where he was able to start over. This school had an anti bullying system in place and a zero tolerance for it. I took my son to counseling, and talked to him a lot about needing to express himself. I also made sure he was not around a sharp object for quite a long time. My son just graduated and will be starting to travel the world next year. He has not cut in over 3 years and has actually helped other kids to stop cutting. I am very proud of him but I hate that he ever had to go through this or that the fact I was a parent who was naive and didn't realize how bad it had gotten. I am just thankful that I found out before it was too late.

Unfortunately today statistic show that 22 teenagers kill themselves every hour because of bullying. This is not ok. Now my personal opinion is that I think the punishment for these kids who are bullying is not harsh enough and that is why it continues to happen. My personal thought is if you pick on someone for so long that they take their own lives then you should be charged with manslaughter and end up in prison.

However this post is not about my opinion or anything like that but it's here to help you survive being bullied. If you are a bully then this post is to tell you to grow up and get over yourself and stop being a little prick. 

OK here we go!!!

Top Ten Ways to Survive Being Bullied as a Teenager!!!

1.You are Fabulous!!! Know it!!!

Yes I am talking you. You are fabulous. I don't care what anyone else say. You are an amazing person and a fabulous human being. Knowing that will help you have more confidence. Self esteem is something that everyone works on through their entire lives. Having as much of it as you can will help you get far in life. If someone tells you that you are ugly or fat or something else like that then you need to remember that they are wrong. Yes we all have flaws but you do not need to focus on that. I have this amazing and beautiful niece who does not think she is beautiful or amazing. She was born from two parents who are the exact opposite of each other. Her mom is a short little woman who is cute as shit but comes from a family who struggles with obesity, and her dad is like 7 feet tall. Ok not quite but you get the idea. This has made her a very unique girl as she has gotten traits from both sides of her family. This means that she is not a size 2 skinny girl like most of he models these days, but she is built like a real women. As a grown up she will be fighting the guys off with a stick but as a teenage girl who does not look like most teenage girls this can really get her down. She is beautiful and has an amazing personality. She is funny and spunky and has no reason to be sad. However that is not alway the case and she has been bullied herself. She has seen her friends get bullied and eventually kill themselves because of it. I am so glad she is not one of these girls but it breaks my heart that she has watched other beautiful girls take their lives because of bullying. No matter what anyone ever tells you, they are not important, and you are truly fabulous. 

2.Don't Verbally Attack your Bully

As much as it can hurt when someone picks on you, and you are being bullied, please remember to not verbally attack them. This will just provoke them to keep going. What a bully is doing is trying to get attention and make themselves feel better. Don't give them the satisfaction of knowing they got to you. 

3.Don't Physically Attack your Bully

Yes just like above this goes with that too. I get it, when someone is going off on you and calling you names, the one thing you want to do is ball up your fist and kick their ass. Now I am not saying they don't deserve it LOL but this is only going to get you in trouble and possibly hurt. No matter how strong you are, a bully always has backup. If a bully is physically hurting you then you have the right to get someone else involved like a grown up or a police officer or even your local motorcycle club ;) 

4.Don't Blame Yourself

This is not your fault. You did nothing to bring this on yourself. You are an amazing kid who has tons to offer the world. The world needs your gift. Please always remember you didn't ask for this and you do not deserve it. 

5.Get Help

I know sometimes it feels like there is no help in sight. I also know how embarrassing it can be to ask for help. Also if your like most teenagers at this point in your life you think that your parents are just plain stupid. LOL we are not stupid but sometimes we are blind to what you need. The only way we (parents) can help you is if you let us. Be brave and ask for help. If your parents can't help you then ask a grown up you do trust. 

6.Look at the Big Picture

The big picture is the best way to help you stay positive. Know that this time in your life will not last forever. Stay focused on what you want to do with yourself. If you want to grow up and be a rock star then spend time focusing on playing your instrument. Practice makes perfect and remember someday when your a big rock star those bullies will be dieing for autograph. Just remember that even Tom Cruise was bullied as a teen and he can do anything now. 

7.Focus on the Positive

Being positive is not always easy, trust me I know. However being positive will help you get through this time. Think about the things you like to and what you are good at. Everyone has a special talent. Some people can paint, other play instruments or write songs. There are many things in life that make you special. Think about that positive thing in your life and focus on that.


Exercise is the best stress reliever you can find. It helps you be healthy as well, and that is always a plus. If you are holding in all this negative energy from bullies then try taking a kickboxing class or punching a mattress to help relieve some of that stress. 

9.Don't Beat Yourself Up!!!

Don't beat yourself up over small stuff. Let's say your dealing with a bully and you lose your temper, you start yelling at them and calling them names or maybe you broke down in tears and ran away. That's ok. This is never going to be something easy to deal with and there will be times that you do slip. That is ok. Do not beat yourself up over it. Tomorrow is another day. 

10.Make the grownups be grownups 

Yes that is exactly what I said. You are still a kid and yes I know all teenagers hate to be called that, but I don't mean it as your a kid like so young and juvenile. I mean it like your not 18 yet so your not a grownup. This is the time in your life that the grownups in your life should be doing what you need. If you are promised that everything will be taken care of and things are not, or let's say for a couple days things get better and then start up again, this is the time to speak up. Tell your parents or who ever promised that the problem is still here and that they need to fix it. Yes this is the time to tell your parents what's what. LOL but seriously it could save your life so please don't keep quiet.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and I hope it will be of help for you.

If you need someone to talk about this you can call 1-00-273-Talk (8255) 

I have also included some great sites to help with bullying as well as a biker club who is all about helping against bullies. 

Lots of love
Kaylee Shadows

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