Sunday, August 21, 2016

Child Support... Is it ever really enough support?

I have been thinking about this topic a lot lately as I have many friends and family members who deal with this. Some of them have extremely strong opinions on this matter and others could care less.

I live in a state where they are very vigorous on getting child support paid to the parent who deserves it. They will garnish wages, call friends and family members if they cant track you down, and all the while your debt will be growing and growing.

Now my personal opinion on this matter is if you can't support your kids then you should be practicing safe sex, Now I don't mean this for parents who are down on their luck and looking for work. I am talking about the bum crack head who lives under a bridge because they can't quit using.

When a couple has a child together, and then it does not work out for some reason, and they split ways the child's welfare becomes an issue. Are the parents married and getting a divorce? Were the parents never married to begin with? Whatever the situation may be the number one issue is always the same. What is best for the child?

Now I have heard of many cases from my best friend who was engaged to an abusive man, and decided to get out before her son was born, so he wouldn't be abused as well. Then the dad who just wants to see his kids, but the mom won't let him because she is pissed at him. In the situation with my friend I will always commend her for what she did. She chose her son before he was even born which is amazing. Now his "sperm donor" has never met him or ever made an effort to want to meet him. He has paid child support a handful of times when the state is able to track him down and garnish his wages, of course once they do he quits and moves to a new state so he don't have to pay. This is what is known as a deadbeat dad. Now for the dad who just wants to see his kids is a totally different situation. He is being punished because things didn't work out with the mom and she is using the kids against him. I call this woman a BITCH!!!!
You don't use your kids as leverage, come on....

Anyway the biggest thing I have found, is one of two situations. The first situation is that the mom has the kids, and the dad has become a deadbeat dad who never pays any child support or see's his kids. This makes it extremely hard on the mom, and the kids who are going without. The other situation is the dad who pays his child support every month, and has a parenting plan, and see's his kids, but his bitch ex wife is always threatening to take him to court for more money. This is the dad who is worried that his child support isn't actually going to the support of his kids, but maybe a spa day for mom. Luckily in my state there are laws to protect from this as well as an income factor so the mom can't just go in and say, "I want this much money," when the dad does not make that much.

With all of these different situations the things I notice the most is that the kids well being is slipping farther and farther away, and it becomes all about money. Parents need to sit back and think about how their child's life has now changed, and how they don't care about money at all, they just want to see both of their parents.

My advice is the next time your fighting with your ex over parenting plans,and child support remember the big picture. The little guys you have watching the whole mess.

Marriage isn't easy, and divorce is even harder, Try and make the best of a bad situation.

Also a huge shout out to all of the single moms and dads out there raising your kids with no help. You rock!!!!

 Lots of love
Kaylee Shadows

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