Saturday, November 5, 2016

Gobble Gobble Bitch!!!

Gobble Gobble Bitch!

Yes, this is still one of my favorite stories....

    Many years ago, I was driving home. Now to start out let me tell you that Kristina, (my bestie) and I both grew up in a small town. A small farm town no less, so it was never a surprise to see a cow crossing the road, or to have a dear run into the side of your car. However, there were even times we could be surprised. 

    It was a nice sunny day in March a few years back and I was driving home along this long stretch of road that leads to everything in this town. When out of the corner of my eye I see a turkey on the side of the road. Not a live turkey or even a dead turkey but a frozen turkey with no wrapper. I immediately picked up my cell phone and called Kristina and said “You won’t believe what I just saw on the side of the road?” Her answer shocked me as she said “A Turkey” I couldn’t believe it and then she explained to me that she saw it herself the day before. We laughed about this for a while thinking it was funny and then moved on. A week later we were together driving down the same road and lo and behold the same turkey was there. Well I assume this was the same turkey, but I didn’t stop to ask so it could have been new. Anyway, we laughed some more and took a picture of the turkey. This turkey sat there for about 2 months and then one day it was gone. I guess someone finally came back for their dinner. 

I often wondered about how this turkey could have ended up there and with my wild imagination I believe I figured it out.

One day a handsome turkey was walking along the side of the road on his way to a friend’s house. When out of nowhere a man in a super-fast car drives by.

The car comes to a screeching halt because the man had never seen such a handsome turkey before. He gets out and admires the handsome turkey when he decides he wants to take a feather back to his girlfriend because the turkey is so handsome. He begins to pluck a few feathers and then a lot of feathers.

Tom the turkey gets very mad about this and tries to stop the man. The man runs back to his car quickly with the feathers he had gathered, but of course he tells all his friends about the handsome turkey. Tom was very upset to have lost some of his feathers but he was not the type of turkey to hold a grudge so he decided to let it go. Unfortunately, the man had been telling everyone about how handsome Tom was and before long people were stopping to pluck feathers left and right

Poor Tom eventually becomes bald and decides to get revenge on the feather stealers so he makes a plan to attack the next person who drives by. He crouches and waits excitedly until he sees the headlights of an oncoming car. He sits very still in the middle of the road and then suddenly everything goes silent. He wonders where the car went and sticks his head up for a peak when KABLAM the car rips his head off. The cow wandering by feels bad and he sticks Tom on the side of the road for all to admire. 

No Animals were actually hurt during this story.

 Lots of love
Kaylee Shadows
Author & Creative Goddess

Follow me on